Saturday, April 21, 2012

HBO's Girls

Why is every one soooo mad?

I watched without reading anything or knowing anything about it besides that people were mad and that the Girls looked like they were kidnapped from a Dove commercial. These things annoyed me:

1) Social Media Millenial Shit - WE KNOW. There was a fucking facebook movie, we know that social media is one of this generation's defining motifs, thanks. You'd think being on HBO with Judd Apatow and that Lena director that they wouldn't open the show with some false witty banter about the totem pole of communication (facebook, gchat, texts). That doesn't get anyone wet... proceed.

2) The "hero" is Unbearable - I will NEVER sympathize with the intern chick Hanna. She got no hustle, no style and doesn't know how to take leggings off, but maybe girls like her. Regardless though, that's a personal thing and the "hero" serves her purpose in the show. We don't dislike her because she's resistant to anal or untalented like every one on How to Make it in America, we dislike her cause she fucking nails her role as that person on Bedford St you hope gets run over by a gipsy cab.

3) It's so calculating in being this generation's SITC - When the girl in the shitty jump suit talks about the SITC characters and who was like Miranda, Carrie, etc. I wanted to puke. We all know what you're trying to do, STOP IT. When this becomes the next SITC, people will tell you, until then... shut the fuck up about it. You're ONE episode in. They had like 6 seasons of 30 minute shoe advertisements, you ain't shit. Come to think of it, why do the two greatest gender genre shows revolve around shoes? Al Bundy = Shoe Salesman. SITC = Hos w/ Shoes.

Those were all my complaints because to be honest, it's a WELL MADE SHOW. They have captured a lot of the the defining characteristics of one segment of our generation. The only aspects where it's not well-made is when they TELL us what they're doing. I sharted angrily when Hanna tells her parents "I could be the voice of my generation". COME ON, let the work do the talking you scared, insecured, shitty screen writers. If you are worth the shit ticket you wiped your ass with, we'll figure it out.

I think the problem people are having with Girls stems from the fact that it's actually sooo real that some viewers become self-hating. This IS our generation of privileged white women. That said, I'm clearly not a white woman so I could be wrong, but I really would like to be right cause it gives me more material on a daily basis. I learned a lot about white women on this show and the fact that there are no black, latino women doesn't make me mad, but only because I expected that. It'd be even worse if there was 1 black woman just for the hell of it. I mean shit, there aren't even white women that white women like on this show. The entire show is comprised of people that put bare feet up at brunch and then don't tip cause they have money to brunch but not enough to tip properly or keep their feet to themselves.

It's not like SITC because it's actually an indictment of our generation. SITC had episodes like "Are We Sluts" but for the most part celebrated their lifestyles and bitches went ga-ga for ONieal's. NOBODY likes these girls in Girls and they're not supposed to. It would actually be worse if they become likeable. You should not ever like this bitch because she's 24 and still sucking on her mother's teet. It's one thing to borrow every once in a while like a lot of people do, it's another to be 24 and never had a job. I like that people of color are not caught up in this shit storm because WE ACTUALLY FUCKING WORK. My parents BALLED in high school and I still cleaned chicken butts at Boston Market.

One of the biggest differences between POC (people of color) and privileged white people is that POC have no shame selling Air Force 1s or DVDs on Canal St. We'll do anything to get paper. Me and my boy Darkness sold t-shirts on the 4-train while at Cardozo Law and mad people laughed at us, but look at us now. He owns Breuklyn Coffee Shop in Crown Heights and oh, come on, you already know who we is baby girl... AND, there's always grimey white people down for the hustle too but you know where they don't need to be? THIS SHOW: GIRLS. There's no way this chick Hanna would have black friends anyway! What would she say to them? "Hey, I don't want to work at McDonald's but could I spin it to people at house parties as keeping it real if I worked at Golden Krust?" You know what the best plot twist would be in season 2? If that girl Marnie turns Sofia Coppola and sells some nonsensical emo screenplay that makes other privileged white people want to cry, laugh, and shoot themselves in the vagina, then wins an Oscar cause THAT would be fucking real and representative of our generation.

I don't think the defining characteristic of our generation is that we have REAL diversity. We're still at the mercy of socio economics even if we walk amongst each other on a daily basis. While we know a lot more about each other than we did 20 years ago, I don't think we FULLY understand what it is to be white or black or yellow or brown. Its more that we're slowly understanding how deep racism AFFECTS us on a professional, social, political level that goes beyond the initial layer addressed on the 7 o'clock news. On a personal/emotional level, we're still in 7th grade, those awkward self-reflective middle school years. While we're starting to see things from a first person multi-cultural perspective and can talk intelligently about race on an individual basis... once that conversation leaves a late night convo at your favorite Tri-State area bar or blog, we EXPECT mainstream media to stumble all over itself trying to make sense of anything involving race because suburbia and our parents just can't keep up with the honesty of the internet and that's where we live. Girls hopes to live there as well, but its just not the nature of the beast. You can't be SITC AND untangle race like they did in the Wire. You're either the Wire or you're SITC. Commit! I don't need Girls to be groundbreaking as a show that finally nails black-white-asian-latino girl dialogue or life. But... I will watch Girls every week because its like Kenny Powers with a vagina to me. Every week I get to call my white friends up and tell them "SEE! I TOLD YOU, YOU'RE ALL REDNECKS LIKE KENNY POWERS AND YOUR WHITE COUSIN HANNA SUCKS!"

Thanks Judd Apatow


  1. "I'm clearly not a white woman." Ha! True dat! Keeep preaching, Brutha Eddie. You really have a way with words!

  2. I don't know if the generational indictment was done on purpose. I felt they were trying to cater to white girls by coaxing them to identify with characters -- I mean, I still hear people discussing which SITC type they are. When Hanna was telling her parents she could be the voice of her generation, I thought she was trying to sell her potential to them...but the unspoken "...if only I got off my ass," made me hate her a little more. I had enough of that privileged isolation during the grunge era, thanks. The lame doesn't stop. This show is tiresome, irritating, derivative, and brings no new twists or insights to the familiar. If I threw my phone over my shoulder, I'd hit nine of those girls, and that's just here in my apartment -- do I need more of them? I do not. Read "Story of My Life", Jay McInerney's bio of an 80s girl for the honest ugly told well. It'll take you an hour. I'll wait.

  3. I haven't watched the show but it sounds like the narrator of "Story of My Life" might have had more insight than the characters on this show. She knew what it was.
    Secondly, my issue with a show like this is that it basically legitimizes the existence of girls like these in real life, which just speaks to how pathetic their existence is (in terms of their own measure of worth and esteem, blah blah blah).
    Lastly, black-white-asian-latino girl dialogue? I personally don't think it should be that groundbreaking as long as it's with the exclusion of white girls like these, not because they have no connection to the other groups, but because they have no grasp on reality.

  4. Are there any shows on HBO where white people aren't depicted as assholes and colored people as either criminals or incapable of making logical decisions?

  5. tinting, anti-reflective and anti-scratching coatings.Your eyes need to be taken care of with the kind of protection you give your skin. If applying sunscreen is of great importance, then wayfarer sunglasses cheapsunglasses is just as much. UV rays can cause damage to one's eyes if directly exposed to the sun's rays. Therefore it is imperative that you wear them to protect your vision from the glaring sunlight. We cover the best in sunglasses reviews for men and women, while also giving you in-depth information on why you must invest in a good pair of shades.