Beauty & Essex

We went to Beauty & Essex tonight and it's pretty much the shit. I'ma be there a lot in 2011. Yall know I'm not into dressed up... I'm more a draped up, dripped out dude, but B&E strikes a balance between being edgy enough for The People Under The Delancey and nice enough for your friends from Great Neck who you imported from Soho Grand. And of course, the food is on point. White boy came hard with the General Tso's Monk Fish. Since I lost my wok at Xiao Ye, I'll be getting my fix here. Shouts to Santos and Roble for havin us tonight. Much love.

The Pawn Shop faux store front steez is on point and it leads to the nicest dining room in the Lower....  bar none. This joint is made for ballin, but it's not stuffy and OD. You can wild, you can bring exotic birds, and you don't have to leave the neighborhood. Bawse.

This is the upper level with jewelry in picture frames.

Stuntin... all pearls. no mother fuckin mardi gras beads up in here. shawty gonna have to show more than boobs for these. HAHA

The spot was so dope, Gisoo didn't go ghost at midnight like usual haha.

This is the ninja turtle shell sun roof that is over the dining room...

At the bar with Great Neck's Finest haha

Evan came out too...

Village Voice Web Awards

So... I talked to the homie Khuong @bullfrogandbaum (that's my DUDE! pause) and he convinced me not to go around chugging four loko and I agreed... It's not a good look since I'm all Mr. Town and Country now. LOL. Rich people are watching so we need to switch gears and be on that model minority tip above grand st. you feel me?

"Oh, let me help you with your taxes and comforters! Here's your receipt, come back Wednesday for pick up!" - Mr. Eddie Huang, Esq., CPA, M.D., D.D.S.

But... the problem is that Santos Party House is right off-canal... This my stompin' grounds! I can't be seen walkin around with four loko all unopened and shit! The delivery boys gonna think I went soft! It's like T.I. v. TIP; Avon v. Stringer; Trading Places... what's a brother to do? Eddie Yellow aka Canal St. King, ack like you know! Todd Barry, this Loko's for you.

Thanks to the Village Voice for the Foam Finger and Best Local Internet Character Award... Character not caricature! No Mickey Rooney on this side! This be for all the Asians reppin' hard on the interwebs: Francis Lam, My Moms, Mymomisafob.com, Awesome Slut, and that mother fucker Slim Chin. Jeremy Lin, I'd say you too for that youtube video where you murk John Wall, but you a Jesus Freak and my Lucky Cat says "Me no rike."

I just want to say... I know the four loko shit was crazy and there were serious repercussions. I'm definitely not that dude all the time. I think the summer/fall I was a little off the deep end. Shit was difficult. But, for real, your boy is ok and I take this food shit seriously... It's not a game, but it doesn't need to be boring like tax season either.

Astronomical Kid

This kid was at the Village Voice Internet Awards and shut it down. Hilarious... Real talk, he's already nicer than Nelly haha.

Mr. Town & Country

You'll probably never hear me say this again... cop that town and country. Yes, yes, I know we're usually Town & Laundry readers on this side, but we get in where we fit in...

Yea, your boy is #48. Some people we can see through the diamond in the back... Michael Kors, we gig'd on em... The Emir of Qatar, we gig'd on em... Amare Stoudemire, we gig'd on em... Cristiano Ronaldo, we gig'd on em... DVF, we gig'd on her... Mark Sanchez, we gig'd on em...  If anyone takes this list seriously, they probably work for the SLA, but good shit Town & Country. Yall may have thin lips but you got good taste. I like the new Chinamen friendly T&C.