Monday, March 1, 2010

Yelp Greatest Hits this Week

"I like that they didn't censor the music so that we ended up happily eating our baos alongside rap music saying how they are going to kill my family." - Debbie K.

"Really, before you go to Baohaus you need to have the right expectations. Imagine that the people who work there have an incredible secret ability to cook ridiculously good Baos, but only when they are completely shitfaced.

They forgot your order and made you wait forever? come on, their drunk, what did you expect?
They ran out of the meat for one of the only two meat Baos that they offer? shit, if you were 8 shots deep would you remember to cook enough meat?
They are unexpectedly closed when you wanted to eat? are you trying to kill the chefs, their livers can only handle so much!
The Baos are too expensive? Think about how much they have to spend on alcohol to stay drunk enough to keep pumping out these beauties.

You can use this excuse for everything there... the space is poorly optimized, dirty plates are piling up... you get the idea. Sure, as far as I can tell everyone there is completely sober... but thinking they aren't helps me keep my cool while I wait for suuuuper tasty Baos." - Paul B.

"Best of all, they were playing Clipse. And this 3-yr old there said to his Mom, "the man on the radio said "chameleon"!"* I guess better that he recognized that word than most of the others.

Anyway, yes, this isn't fast food - I'd say serve time is about the same as Caracas' take-out place - you should go expecting a similar experience, you know, the space is tiny so don't bring your full posse, be patient, etc.

But there is no reason for you to not eat here; you absolutely should; probably multiple times.

*"Pusha in that Bentley, G-T-Oh No
Flow chameleon, worth bout a million
Sell Bolivian, Feds in oblivion"

- Michigan Gourmet Club with an assist from Pusha-T

Nice work all around....

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Let that Bitch Breathe!!!!!!!

Dayyyaaammmm NY, who knew yall liked baos like dat? People are upset, but I blame cows. Who told these heifers to grow only one diaphragm (skirt steak)? On friday I had 75lbs of skirt in the fridge for Saturday/Sunday (usually we only need 25lbs a day). I get a call at 1am Saturday morning from staff saying we 86'd skirt. I woke up and called mad butchers Sunday cause my purveyor was closed. No one had enough skirt. So, I got real desperate and called Duane Reade cause I know they always got diaphragms. I asked for 75 lbs. Nuttin... some old ladies and careful teens bought them out. So I had to break out my personal stash of kobe zabuton. You win, I lose.

Sorry for the waits this weekend, as many who read the blog know, I opened this spot with $300 left in my personal savings account and ZERO in the biz. This space is all I could afford. 90% of people are understanding, know the story and I thank you for your patience. When I could, I gave out cannolis, beijing peanuts, fries, etc. while people waited in line. We flipped 600 buns out of a 400 sq ft space with NO BASEMENT Saturday, you can't knock the hustle.

But, there are also a lot of people who come in now mad at me saying my space is too small and that we should have a bigger restaurant.... So, as a gold digger once told Daddy, "Buy me sumthin."