Thursday, December 23, 2010

That Time of Year

My favorite holiday song all time... Unless Mariah drops some new shit with Cam'ron before Saturday.


Eater put up a hilarious video of this kid getting straight tossed by a bouncer. I watched it and thought it was pretty clear that the drunk kid figured the bouncer couldn't touch him and verbally attacked the bouncer. What really bothered me was the guy screaming they had a law suit. First, what do you know about the law? Second, fuck the law. As a human being, you can't verbally attack someone like that and expect not to get throwed? I was PRAYING that this kid got thrown in the street and run over by an Olive Oil Truck, the Pope Mobile, or something equally Italian. Like a Domino's Pizza Bus haha. It is really annoying when people take the law as morality. If someone yelled at you like that, wouldn't you do something? No one has a right to verbally berate another person like that. It's very simple, if you don't want to get tossed, don't talk shit.

Whether you're a server, bartender, bus boy, cashier or bouncer, people think just because you are on the job, they can talk to you without any of the normal human courtesies you would with friends or co-workers or even just strangers on the street. FYI mother fuckers, you're paying for food and service but you're not paying for a crack at the dunk tank. If we wanted to get paid for being your personal doormats, we'd either work at a carnival or audition for bukkakke castings. We have done neither so keep your bullshit to yourself.

Seriously, anyone who thinks this bouncer was in the wrong is delusional. I always tell people. The best way to see people's true character is to pay attention to the little things. Not interviews, not references, but watch how someone talks to bouncers, waiters, the delivery guy, cab drivers, etc. The people lowest on the totem pole. That's where you'll really see how someone operates. This is why I love dinner dates. Bitches who think they can hand things to waiters without making eye contact will probably be too lazy to take their birth control as well. And that's a fucking deal breaker. Peep the product before you buy people!

vote that the kid was wrong, don't want this bouncer losing his job:

Disclaimer: I do shit on Telemarketers and Mormon Missionaries, but I think that is acceptable.


We Shootin...

Been a crazy week. Events every day. Just in the last week, we catered Thom Filicia's Release Party (my co-d Martha Stewart came through), cooked at the Taiwanese Embassy, did $1 Bao Day, and shot the pilot for 2 days. So today, I stayed in, had a Netflix Night, got some wonton soup with char siu pork from Noodletown, and drank a lot of robitussin. Sippin on some sizzurp... so relaxing.

The shoot this week was pretty dope. We hit up Jerk City, Imperial Palace, and K-One. My favorite part so far is getting into OPK (other people's kitchens) and seeing their technique. Imperial Palace was dope. They had a bucket for used oil from the wok. i.e. every time they made an order of lamb chops, they'd flash fry the lamb, then toss the lamb over a strainer and dropped all the used oil into a bucket. But then for certain dishes, they'd use that oil for extra flavor. It sounds funky but it tastes really fucking good. They also live butchered a dungeness crab, wok fried it while still pulsating, then steamed it. Mad fresh.

Jerk City was poppin. I spoke to Chef Orville for a while and the recession's been hard on the neighborhood. If you get a chance, definitely go support Brooklyn Business and cop that Jerk City. I know there are a lot of trendy spots in BK that get a lot of buzz, but give these West Indian joints a shot. They are the heart of the borough and I feel they've been kinda forgotten. He makes a really good jerk chicken slow and low, oxtail, and curry goat.

He marinates the chicken for 2 days before grilling and uses all natural chicken. I told him he should advertise it, but he doesn't. Meanwhile, all these other "farm to table" restaurants are charging $18+ for a quarter all natural chicken. This is what I love. Orville didn't even realize that he was doing something "trendy", people from other countries just EXPECT all natural chicken because the legs are bigger. I discovered his chicken was all natural because when we cut em open, I saw goosebumps on the skin that's usually a dead giveaway. When you eat purdue commodity chicken, the skin is just fat and sickly, it doesn't even have goosebumps. The legs are also much smaller since the breast is genetically modified to be larger. You can get white meat jerk, but you really shouldn't. For $5 you get rice and beans, steamed cabbage, plantains, and all natural jerk chicken. Go.

Thanks For Coming!

Baohaus 1 year anniversary got pretty crazy. Let's do it again next year yall...

The haus was dumb crowded and we sold out at 8pm just like the old days. I remember when we first opened, our first $600 day, me/steve/evan/and simon thought it was the coolest thing ever and we sold out at 9pm. Then we kept selling out for 2 weeks and realized we should probably get a bigger pot. It took about 14 days for us to reach this conclusion. I can't believe baohaus made it a year considering how fucking retarded we were from jump. Honestly, people, we opened this joint with pots from Ikea. Stools from Ikea. Diarrhea we got at Ikea from swedish meatballs. I might have even stole a tray of Ikea cinnamon buns because it was too easy to not do. Thanks for being a bunch of marks, Ikea.

Speaking of stools, this man, the Mayor, Stephane Adam built most of the stools at baohaus. This is what  out of work attorneys do these days. They make stools at baohaus and pound the Champagne of Beers.

Why did I just drop a serani video? I dunno but it probably has something to do with that shitty Jennifer Convertibles couch he has in the video. From now on, I will blog exclusively from my Jennifer Convertibles pull-out sofa.