Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Very Quickly...


Saw this on eater and looked at the comments. As usual, some real geniuses in the bunch. When I read the review, I thought to myself... people are gonna bug out claiming Red Rooster got two stars for the crowd. The Scalia's of the food world who think dining begins and ends with what's on the plate, strict interpretationists. #canIlive?

McNally was a great allusion for the review because we go for atmosphere, service, and Pimm's Cup as much as we do for the food. If you're a eater commentor going to a restaurant and all you want to know is "what's the best thing I can eat w/ this 2011 tap water for $25 including tip" well, you're missing the point and you should stay in the East Village where you can go to any number of Japanese take-out joints for $6 and not even get ice water. Because, as your buddy says "Fuck the apps! That's where they're hiding the cost of tap water!"

For the record, it seems the food was quite good and I'm not the reviewer. I can't say that he gave points for certain things cause unlike sex with the Russian Judge, there's no scorecard (FUCK). But, in response to the commentors, most of my friends that went said it was solid, high one-star food but great atmosphere that'd kick it up to two. One-star doesn't mean the food's bad, it's more about the style. It's rustic, homey, etc. Read the criteria for the review. Atmosphere and value are part of the package. Take another Harlem restaurant, Rao's that got 3-stars from none other than your girl, Mimi. It's classic, stellar, 1-star red sauce Italian, but would anyone deny the atmosphere, mystique, etc? Dude, Hov shot Death of Auto-tune there. He's not shooting it at Kenka as much as you think it's the best value in town. Uncle Vincent's Chicken... fux wit it.

Besides the fact that atmosphere is a crucial component to the review, you HAVE to give Samuelsson credit for taking a risk and going to Harlem just like we gave credit to people for going to Brooklyn 8 years ago (and still do). The sooner you guys realize there is culture, politics, and economics involved in dining, the better off we'll be. If I went and opened a restaurant on 8th Ave in Sunset Park, I'd hope to get points for degree of difficulty. Who knows if anyone would show up? Places like Sushi Samba survive in Manhattan just off the strength of location, price point, and women from Jersey. It's an honorable thing to go serve an underserved neighborhood and fill a need. I did the same shit by opening Baohaus next to a Chinese Massage Parlor. A girl's gotta eat after hanging up those "please keep your pants on" signs! #bodywok

Really though, why wouldn't you celebrate a restaurant that every one can appreciate. Every one loves Samuelsson for the food, but his story makes him special. It's impossible to dislike the guy even if he's dressed like the love child of Bob Marley and Aunt Jemima. There's nothing wrong with that. Ok, maybe there is but I can't pin point it.

And lastly... I already hear you fools "this dude loves sifton". Listen, I can't wait till he drops a biscuit review because I will be the first one to say it tastes like "cardboard and water." I'd say more but I gotta go hoop on these fools off Eastern Parkway. #oyvey

7 comments:

  1. "Places like Sushi Samba survive in Manhattan just off the strength of location, price point, and women from Jersey." #fact

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  2. Kenka IS the best value in town, I would do 16 bars in front of the bear statue with the nips.

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  3. If I went and opened a restaurant on 8th Ave in Sunset Park, I'd hope to get points for degree of difficulty. Who knows if anyone would show up? Places like Sushi Samba survive in Manhattan just off the strength of location, price point, and women from Jersey. 2945abc45 0323

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  4. haha... samuelsson is styling.
    better than looking like a fat 13 yr old !

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  5. Wait till Eater sends out their newly christened critics of ages 8 and 11; then what will u complain about? Now those kids are the 'new compass of taste'; I think the gist is 'everyone's a critic'...(said with a really deep Jewish accent)

    :))

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  6. i knew this kid in high school.. he is about the least hip hop / hard guy i know. probably making up for all those yrz of gettin shitted on.

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  7. Strict Interpretationist Scalia Restaurant Review: you make me laugh, law man.

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