Monday, December 2, 2013

MONICA MONROE

I STARTED THIS LINE MONICA MONROE FEATURING VERSATILE FABRICS FOR SAVAGE MEN TRYIN TO SPREAD BENIGN HPV. MY INSPIRATION FOR THE LINE IS THAT PEOPLE ARE SO INDISCRIMINATE WHEN TALKING ABOUT HPV. THEY SO RECKLESS LIKE "HPV CAUSES CANCER". NO IT DOESN'T. MY PARTICULAR BRAND OF HPV IS ETHEREAL LIKE ROSE WATER. SO I DESIGNED A LOT OF CLOTHES THAT I WOULD WEAR ON DATES WITH WOMEN I FEEL ARE CONNOISSEURS OF HPV LIKE PEG BUNDY, FRAN DRESCHER, SUZANNE SOMMERS FROM STEP BY STEP, MONICA LEWINSKY, MARILYN MONROE, AND ROBIN GIVENS, UNIVERSALLY KNOWN AS THE FOREMOST EXPERT ON BENIGN HPV STRAINS. SHE LIKE THE WINE SPECTATOR OF BENIGN HPV... YEA, YEA, THAT'S 99 POINTS RIGHT 'CHERE. I SEEN HER WALK OUTTA THE FOREST AT A BBQ ONCE AND WAS LIKE "I DETECT HICKORY, DICKORY, DOCK. THAT HPV WAS SLAMMIN."

RIGHT NOW WE ARE TRYING TO GET THESE VERSATILE FABRICS INTO ROSS, BUT THEY BE HATIN CAUSE TOO MANY TAIWANESE PEOPLE MAKE CLOTHES RIGHT NOW. THEY SAID I SHOULD HOLLER AT TJ MAX, BUT I WAS LIKE, YO, HOV DEADED TJ MAX WITH 3 KINGS. HOPEFULLY IF ENOUGH OF YOU NINJAS ASK FOR MONICA MONROE AT ROSS, MY DREAMS WILL COME TRUE. I'M JUST A SQUIRREL IN THIS WORLD TRYNA DESIGN CLOTHES FOR IDEAL MEN LIKE AL BUNDY, FLAMA BLANCA, THE DUDE, AND GRIMACE FROM MCDONALD'S. I WOULD LOVE TO DRESS GRIMACE FROM MCDONALD'S. HIS SKIN TONE IS PERFECT FOR 3-WAY STRETCH SPANDEX SNAKESKIN. EGGPLANT IS THE NEW BLACK MOTHER FUCKERS.

WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ADO ABOUT MY DREAMS AND AMBITIONS. HERE IS THE MONICA MONROE SPRING 2014 LOOKBOOK FEATURING FAT JEW, MIKAELA WILLIE, ZEREN LONDAH, AND JR ALBA. IT WAS SHOT BY THE GORGEOUS JON SNYDER. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND JON SNYDER PHOTOGRAPHY. HE HAS CHANGED MY ENTIRE OPINION OF PHOTOGRAPHY, FASHION, WHITE PEOPLE, AND PORTLAND. NOT PORTLAND, OREGON, BUT PORTLAND, MAINE. IT'S DEFINITELY THE BETTER PORTLAND.

LOOK AT THIS SCRUMPTIOUS GENTLEMAN DRESSED LIKE HOBBES
CIARA "RIDE" THE REMIX
YEA, YEA, JUST LIKE THAT BEATLES SONG HE WANNA HOLD UR HAND BOO
DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN
MY PHONE DIRTY, MY BALLS CLEAN, IM BOWLIN DIRTY, BUT HPV CLEAN
WHAT UP JR AND ZEREN FROM BAOHAUS!
AMURRICA, BACK 2 BACK CHAMPS
ZEREN GOT BEAUTIFUL HANDS. ROB RYAN TRIED TO MAKE VIDEOS OF THEM.
JESUS BOWLS! JESUS BOWLS WITH ME, WITH ME, WITH ME!
OOOoooOOOO KILL EM
FOR THIS PHOTO WE TOLD THE KING OF BRUNCH TO ACK LIKE HE JUST TOUCHED SOME KID'S GOODIES AND HE WAS LIKE "YOU WANT THAT SENSE MEMORY FLOW?" AND THEN HE GAVE US STATUTORY STEEL. DUDE IS A FUCKING MAESTRO WITH THE PEDOPHILE SENSE MEMORY.

7 comments:

  1. so definitely not available for Christmas 2013?

    ReplyDelete
  2. OH shit the line looks real kid!! Just heard you'll be on JRE with Shane Smith soon..can't wait dude!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Vice don't that delusionally in do land...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Do you want to troll the mongers here in Manila? I will personally assist with my hero camera.

    3rdworldhero.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. whats the tune at the ten minute mark of NY episode 1, not knowing is killing me man

    ReplyDelete