Ultimate Recipe Showdown

I just blanked on this and forgot to post about it, but Food Network announced the air dates for URS. Just remembered after seeing my dumbass in the commercial haha. I'm the Asian guy with a yellow t-shirt in the commercial. I haven't been able to see the cut so hopefully I come off looking more like the Situation and less like Snickers LOL. This is the press release they sent out... for the record, I rep 11217 so don't believe the hype:

Premiering Sunday, March 21st at 9:00pm ET/PT

“Party Food”

Food Network looks for the ultimate party food recipe. From finger food to full-on entrees, four contestants take party food to the next level, serving up dishes like Chicken Cordon Blue Roll-Ups and Plantain and Shrimp Party Boats. Contestants include: Barbara Estabrook (Rhinelander, WI), Thalia Patillo (New York), Eddie Huang (Orlando, Fla.) and David Fogelman (Stamford, Conn.).

Places that suck

There are very few places that suck so bad I will put them on blast, but these restaurants upset me so much because they parade around like they offer quality products, but they have to know their food sucks. These are the restaurants/people that perpetuate shitty stereotypes and make restaurant owners look bad.

1) Rickshaw Dumplings - you can tell this was the brain child of some scheming b-school grad. The dumplings are horrible and the kitschy Chinese branding is offensive. I'm not even going to break down why the dumplings are so bad because we'll be here forever. Watching Anita Lo teach Bobby Flay how to make dumplings made me not want to be Asian or at least excommunicate Anita Lo from the tribe. Bitch, you're fired.

2) Baoguette/Pho Sure/and all the other shitty spin-offs - There's no balance of flavor with Bao's sandwiches. They're all either too salty, too one-note spicy, or too one-note sweet. I hate using big vocab words, but you always get palette fatigue eating this guy's food. And the corny show he put on at the Mikey's Opening teaching people how to flip burgers was retarded. We know how to flip a burger, but do you know how to make a real pho? All you taste is anise in this dude's broth.

3) Joe's Shanghai - these soup dumplings are horrible. dark, salty, unrefined soup dumpling gelatin. people like them simply because soup dumplings are the shit and most people have their first soup dumpling at this hell hole. put one of joe's shanghai dumplings next to one from nanxiang xiao long bao and taste the difference yourself.

4) Rice - this place is just stupid. the combinations don't sound good on paper, taste good in practice, and should never be replicated again. the focus of the restaurant is to sell gimmicky fusion pairings from different regions instead of focusing on delivering honest food that is fused simply to taste good.

5) Republic - this place is always packed and it is hilarious to hear the union square lunch crowd rave about it. i can understand if you got dragged there by some B&T girl/guy you want to smash, but otherwise you have no excuse to be there.

6) Wo Hop/Hop Kee - people, stop acting like this place is good. Yes, I eat here late night. Yes, Bourdain came here with some fool, but the food sucks. Its only cool cause its open late and fun to watch drunk people fall down the stairs. The food is so bad I've refused it after taking giant rips of headband. That never happens.

I'm tired, this list is constantly growing. Please feel free to add your own horrible restaurants.

Great Article on Food Writing

Best article I've read in a while. Its written by of all people, Sietsema, who wrote the Island of Taiwan review I trashed months ago. I love this article though. Too many people are doing reviews that just don't know what they're talking about. If you know what's really good, then this doesn't apply to you...

I love Yelp and people show us love there, but we really do need so-called "experts". There's a balance that needs to be struck. I think there is a tendency these days to think we don't need experts or that the internet can make anyone an expert. I guess blogspot is the new civil service exam LOL. I love the do-it-yourself attitude, new innovations, etc., but I think there should be more of a focus on "education" and "history" as opposed to just chasing trends and shiny new food items. If you want to write (or cook), do your homework! I'm not saying you need to adhere to tradition or revere the past, but be familiar?

Also, the "gawker" style reviews have got to go. Eating should not be a "scene". Its fucking food, people. Yes, pork fat is sexy and I do enjoy when soup dumplings squirt on me like flower tucci, but its really just a part of life to eat and watch porn. I never knew about shopsin's until last week, ate there, changed my order, broke all the rules and enjoyed myself. I told some food nerds and they lose their shit because I didn't know the "rules" @ shopsin's. Gimme a break. If you want to be a food nerd, be a nerd about the food, not the food "scene". You may know the back story behind every trendy restaurant in the city, but can you make a gravity bong? I can, that's cooking. In the words of Cam'ron, who dropped "Cookin' Up" last summer:



"Put the oven on 500." -Killa Cam

There is so much food culture still uncovered, we should take our time, absorb, and let things sink in before seeing how far any particular rabbit hole goes. If anyone wants to know who my favorite chef is, I'll tell you right now: Raekwon. That brotha knows his fuckin ice cream.