Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Very Quickly...

Saw this on eater and looked at the comments. As usual, some real geniuses in the bunch. When I read the review, I thought to myself... people are gonna bug out claiming Red Rooster got two stars for the crowd. The Scalia's of the food world who think dining begins and ends with what's on the plate, strict interpretationists. #canIlive?

McNally was a great allusion for the review because we go for atmosphere, service, and Pimm's Cup as much as we do for the food. If you're a eater commentor going to a restaurant and all you want to know is "what's the best thing I can eat w/ this 2011 tap water for $25 including tip" well, you're missing the point and you should stay in the East Village where you can go to any number of Japanese take-out joints for $6 and not even get ice water. Because, as your buddy says "Fuck the apps! That's where they're hiding the cost of tap water!"

For the record, it seems the food was quite good and I'm not the reviewer. I can't say that he gave points for certain things cause unlike sex with the Russian Judge, there's no scorecard (FUCK). But, in response to the commentors, most of my friends that went said it was solid, high one-star food but great atmosphere that'd kick it up to two. One-star doesn't mean the food's bad, it's more about the style. It's rustic, homey, etc. Read the criteria for the review. Atmosphere and value are part of the package. Take another Harlem restaurant, Rao's that got 3-stars from none other than your girl, Mimi. It's classic, stellar, 1-star red sauce Italian, but would anyone deny the atmosphere, mystique, etc? Dude, Hov shot Death of Auto-tune there. He's not shooting it at Kenka as much as you think it's the best value in town. Uncle Vincent's Chicken... fux wit it.

Besides the fact that atmosphere is a crucial component to the review, you HAVE to give Samuelsson credit for taking a risk and going to Harlem just like we gave credit to people for going to Brooklyn 8 years ago (and still do). The sooner you guys realize there is culture, politics, and economics involved in dining, the better off we'll be. If I went and opened a restaurant on 8th Ave in Sunset Park, I'd hope to get points for degree of difficulty. Who knows if anyone would show up? Places like Sushi Samba survive in Manhattan just off the strength of location, price point, and women from Jersey. It's an honorable thing to go serve an underserved neighborhood and fill a need. I did the same shit by opening Baohaus next to a Chinese Massage Parlor. A girl's gotta eat after hanging up those "please keep your pants on" signs! #bodywok

Really though, why wouldn't you celebrate a restaurant that every one can appreciate. Every one loves Samuelsson for the food, but his story makes him special. It's impossible to dislike the guy even if he's dressed like the love child of Bob Marley and Aunt Jemima. There's nothing wrong with that. Ok, maybe there is but I can't pin point it.

And lastly... I already hear you fools "this dude loves sifton". Listen, I can't wait till he drops a biscuit review because I will be the first one to say it tastes like "cardboard and water." I'd say more but I gotta go hoop on these fools off Eastern Parkway. #oyvey


young hummmaaaaaa


As I leave my competition/respirator style
Climbed the ladder to success/escalator style
Hold yall/ breathe I told yall/death controls yall/Big don't fold yall
I spit phrases that'll thrill you/you're nobody till somebody kills you

fast forward to 7:00

And he had the coolest moms. Big up to Brooklyn... and China


Even the Canibus man knows... The Greatest Rapper of All Time Died on March 9th

Monday, March 7, 2011

Shark's Fin and Readers: A Sweet Memoir of Americans Who Can't Read

Either this guy and his friends just discovered or the literacy rate in America has hit rock bottom. Read Francis Lam's article on the Shark's Fin Ban. It was a great piece about how Shark's Fin has a very important place in Chinese cuisine. It is the quintessential Chinese banquet food. What really bothers me though are the commenters on the article. This is my second language and clearly I reads mo better than yous. Francis states very well why he favors a ban on Shark's Fin Soup but points out the selective enforcement and application of the law. Yet, commenters who probably can't get past the word "racist" long enough to read, are posting knee-jerk "they're taking america away from me" type shit.

When I got straight-A's, I asked for Mario Kart. Instead, I got a bullshit bowl of Shark's Fin Soup. Looks like Francis got the same thing and in the process captures what Shark's Fin Soup means to Chinese people. It is a rite of passage. Sure, it seems silly to you, but it's kinda like our axe body spray. Can't go to Prom without it. #winning

Shark's Fin Soup is all about winning, but while it has a revered place in Chinese culinary history, it's time to let it go. We can still eat bird's nest and if they take that away, well, we'll just have to find something new and gelatinous to worship. My grandma had bound feet, but when I begged to get mine bound, my parents had the foresight to say, "He'll never understand that Robert Frost poem in College about traveling on roads if he has bound feet!" Yes, assimilation is a bitch but sometimes it prevents bound feet. In this case, it can also prevent the destruction of the eco system. If we don't have sharks, clown fish will take over the world.

There is a very good point made here. While we're banning Shark's Fin, let's ban Blue Fin Tuna, Caspian Caviar, and ... if we must... Atlantic Cod. I'm sure people in Boston will protest by dumping fish and chips into the harbor, but if history has taught us anything, there is only one Bostonian worth saving: Bill Simmons and luckily he lives in LA. Banning just one item reeks of political posturing when there are a number of items that should be taken care of as well. Food politics is pretty important so this is a step in the right direction. This isn't about Chinese people or shark's fin at the end of the day. It's about the environment and cutting the things out of our diet that mortgage our future. Just like the deficit, we probably should have done something decades ago. It's not too late. Fuck the people who can't let blue fin tuna go and do the right thing, Mookie. Next time I get straight-As, I want tiger's blood and Alexis Texas. Neither of which have a large carbon footprint unless she sits on my xerox machine.

FYI, if you like blue fin tuna belly, try yellow tail belly, it's better.

TV DInner Week 8

I'm back. Western Chinese Style Chicken Stir fry - cumin, chilis, peppercorns, garlic, good stuff. Chinese Broccoli, pickled cucumbers. Enjoy. $10 mon - thurs this week only 11:30am to 11pm delivery. take out, or dine-in