Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Good one, Gawker

          I love this article. Usually, I don't respond to articles that I love and am associated with. I just enjoy my day and eat Mamba gummies. Anything else would be uncivilized, but I have one beef. WHY THE FUCK AM I THE COVER PHOTO? 

The obvious answers are: Yes, that is me holding a cleaver in a photo. You got me. I tried to take the photo with a shitty telephone in my hand, but the photographer had me hold the cleaver. True Story. I also recognize that I was in the NYT Music article, but its very clear that amongst the cornball chefs that play air guitar or treat diners to the vocal stylings of the FUCKING FOO FIGHTERS, that I'm doing something different. You must inherently recognize that I'm the anchor in an otherwise shit storm of bad music taste cause you don't have a quote or comment from me in the article that supports your premise.

Go ahead. Go try to find a quote of mine where I talk about how much I love the Foo Fighters, how food is rock or even how much I love being a "Chef"? I don't claim it. I start tumblrs called Shit Dwight Howard Would Wear with my free time. I love food and love eating even more but as you astutely noted, EVERY ONE FUCKING LOVES FOOD. Every one can be a "chef", you have 3 classes a day (breakfast,lunch,dinner) and Master Splinter Ratatouille to learn from. I disagree that there's even a "jumping the shark" with food. Would you say the entire medium of Film jumped the shark with Eat, Pray, Love? No. Would we say Taco Bell jumped the shark with Dorito Tacos? No, they're fucking delicious. It's like the YumFoods answer to the McRib! Sustenance as a genre can not jump the shark, G. It's sustenance, we will always need it.

I have to say that there are a few people in the industry that I truly respect because they are trying to defend a culture (food), that means something to them. Pete Wells, Sam Sifton, Kat Kinsman, John T, Ligaya Mishan, Tony Bourdain, and Andrew Zimmern all come to mind but there are a lot of others too. You have Kenny Shopsin who refuses to be featured on TV, Newspapers, etc. and kicks customers out. But a distinction should be made. Just cause Pete writes for the times or Tony has 2 shows or Kenny hates anyone with a microphone, has no bearing on their credibility. Confusing the issue is just lazy. It is possible to be vocal, be heard, and still be honest. It's not fair to them or me to shit on the entire industry because there are a few parasitic assholes out there. Andy Ricker, Tyler Kord, Roy Choi, April Bloomfield, Peter Cho are others I admire, but they're not the entire list. Pretty much anyone in the entire borough of Queens that cooks and serves for a living is doing the damn thing. The problems you're talking about infect 5 neighborhoods in Manhattan and roughly 3 to 4 in Brooklyn, you can't take those transgressions and project it on every one in the business of food. And to be honest, if we play chicken or the egg, I'd blame the yelpers and customers who put pressure on chefs to deliver things at the prices they do. There is little to no money in this industry and when money dries up people put their hooker heels on.

The problem is that a lot of these peons want to get rich quick, write garbage cook books, and act like fools on network television. I didn't write a cookbook, I didn't do the Scripps show, and I stand behind Googamooga. It's a good fucking event with a lot of honest chefs who have a story to tell. It's well produced and we've all worked months on putting it together. Your article is dope, you got the traffic you wanted, but if you're going to hate the food scene for hyperbole and dishonesty, CHECK YOUR FUCKING SELF. That article has the same ethos as the things you're attacking. If you're gonna get on your PSA and announce the end of food as culture, get it fucking right. And I would say you got it right if my picture is replaced with Marcus Samuelsson's and Roy Choi's name is removed. But honestly, I'm kidding. It's a good article, even though you implicated an essential culture and probably don't realize the economic impact it will have on people who work in it, but it probably gives you a boner that you wield such power, so yea, put a sock on it. 


  1. Damn, you got the cover and we didn't?? :hatechu

  2. dude you can have it!!! ;p you boys are much cuter anyway. P.S. Jay-Z AND Obama love you. I'm jealous.

  3. Keep an actual restaurant open for more than 6 months.

  4. Fruit roll ups and Wu Tang ARE good, I'll give him that.

  5. no. googa mooga fucking sucked

  6. I really like the content of your post. .. thanks a lot for showing it to me...keep it up..love it..
    wellhead compression