Tuesday, October 25, 2011


The NCAA is weighing $2000 grants to help student athletes with the actual cost of attending college. I like it, but to me, it's still not enough. The athletes playing football and basketball bring so much revenue to top-50 schools, it's straight robbery that they don't share in it. But, schools are balking because its a significant investment since every single student athlete is being included in the proposal. You've seen those commercials they run during Saturday College Football games "I'm a Student Athlete" and it shows a bunch of random olympic sports no one pays attention to trying to convince us that all athletes are created equal. They're not. And if you disagree, please tell me how many Javelin throwing meets you've been to this year.

I understand that there are principles and ideals involved with college education and that you don't want to show students that some sports are valued more than others or some individuals are more important, but it's childish. In four years, when these people go into the real world, it will become very apparent that there is a social hierarchy when the only cross country running this athlete's going to do is down 10 floors to Starbucks and back. If under water basket weaving doesn't bring in TV revenue, well, they probably shouldn't get the $2000 grant.

Colleges are a business. Why is it that colleges want to pretend they aren't business when it comes to student athletes? It's business when they negotiate with faculty, it's business when they bring Chick-Fil-A into the school, and it's business when they ask alumni for cash. But, it's all about the moral high road when explaining why the school should reap the benefits of TV Revenue but the athletes should be happy they get a "priceless" education for free. Look assholes, this is propaganda. Education is NOT priceless. Any parent or kid on loans can tell you there is a VERY tangible price tag to school. And there is a very REAL collection agency that gets on your ass when you can't pay it. Stop fucking around and keep it real. Every one with a US News and World Report magazine knows how much each college costs. How is it that the media gobbles up this Hallmark Card defense about how education is priceless?

I don't even use most of my educations. Yea, my educations, cause I got more than two of them joints. "Boise State president Robert Kustra urged supporters of the plan to look at the support that Division I student athletes receive, and compare it to 'the rest of our students, who are making minimum wage, collecting tips, trying to find their way into their next semester at the university ... Go back and examine the life of a student athlete in intercollegiate sports in America today, and see how privileged they are to be where they are and the opportunities they have.'"

Yo Kustra, I'm going to use my legal education for a hot second and make a few distinctions for you:

1) Your bus-boy student makes money collecting tips for HIMSELF. No one is broadcasting his 8 hour shift at Shoney's refilling ketchup bottles just like no one broadcasted me stealing sweet potato casserole at Boston Market. You get no revenue from people buying Denny's jerseys cause no one fucking wants a Denny's jersey with some kid's name on it from Creative Writing 101.

2) Your student athletes ARE directly making money for your school through ticket, jersey, memoribilia, tv, radio, and ad sales amongst a myriad of other things. They are also indirectly making money for your school by raising attendance because no one fucking heard of Boise State besides Matthew Barney before you cracked the top-25 a few years back.

3) I went back and examined the life of a student athlete at Boise State and I'm pleased to announce that it is an entirely unprivileged position and their are no opportunities. What the fuck are they going to do after they stop playing football? Pick potatoes? If you google the words: "Boise Job Market" the second hit is a link to the discussion "BOISE JOB MARKET DEAD?"

So yea, Kustra, eat a bowl of blue pubes.

Lastly, if none of my appeals to logic strike a nerve. Just watch the video of De'Sean Butler at the top blowing out his knee for his University. He got paid ZERO for that game and saw his future go down the tubes. Don't tell me that he "got an education" dude should have gone to the NBA when he was 19 and got paid.


  1. ha. well put. but i see you went from #2 to #4. surprises me how well you write when you're high. plus blame the NBA for that age 19 shit.

  2. ahhh fuck! i definitely remember that there is a #3 now...

  3. There's a big gaping hole in your "logic" - Butler got a $60+ worth of tuition, room & board, and fees. If his future was dependent on him going to the NBA, then sure it went down the tubes, but if he was doing some actual learning in actual classrooms, then a knee injury certainly didn't do any damage to his future, 'cause he'd still have a fucking Duke University degree.

  4. Actually... You are the one that missed it.

    1) Butler got tuition/room/board and I covered that in the above paragraphs. He got hurt in a Final Four game. An additional playoff game where the school makes exponentially more, but Butler gets nothing more for.

    2) He went to West Virginia not Duke and a degree there is probably redeemable for a pack of Kodiak Chewing Tobacco.

  5. I can see your point, but I have to disagree. If we agree to narrow our group of student athletes to top tier division 1 sports programs that do make huge profits from their sports programs then we can assume those s/a are getting a free ride through a four year education. This is the best financial situation they might ever be in. Sure the university is bringing in a whole lot more money, but if after four years they do parley an average pro sports career their percentage of compensation compaired to their employer (analagous to their university) will likely be far less. Beside, If a student is getting $40,000 a year worth of education, room, board, ect. what is another $2000?

    Secondly, as a previous student athlete that is neither a pro athlete, nor currently a professional in the area of my education I can attest that even in my small school setting I recieved a whole lot of free shit that my fellow students never say. Free food, clothes, travel, local transportation, entertainment. And now, my old room mate who ate mac&chz every night and wore the same two button downs for four years sitting in computer programming classes is making bank.

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